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13 November 2006 @ 11:34 pm
Episode Nine, Teaser - "Night Moves"  
Night - Formans' Living Room

Red and Kitty are reading with the T.V. on.

BOB : (offscreen) Hey there!

RED : Oh God, can't he find someone else to annoy?

KITTY : Red, honey, be nice.

Bob enters through the dining room door, smiling.

BOB : Well, it's getting late. Looks like the kids'll be back soon!

RED : (not looking up) Uh-huh.

BOB : I was wondering if you wouldn't mind us talking about that RV again.

RED : Sonofa--


Night - The Mall

There's a special evening screening of "Dawn of the Dead" that's just letting out of the movie theater. Not very many people went to it, but the last to leave are Fez, Kelso, Hyde, Eric, Jackie, & Donna. Fez seems a little nervous, wringing his hands every few seconds. Kelso seems paranoid.

HYDE : (to Jackie) I told you the mall was evil.

JACKIE : (scoffs) Please. Those four locked themselves up in a mall and they STILL got eaten by zombies? Obviously they didn't shop at the right stores.

DONNA : But Jackie, they stole guns to protect themselves.

JACKIE : (gestures to Kelso) Michael has a gun. Do you trust him?

There's a general consensus of agreement, as the six walk from the movie theater through the now-empty mall to leave.

DONNA : It was actually a pretty good movie. It talked about racism, commercialism... all right, it got kind of gory, but...

ERIC : But it's no "Star Wars".

HYDE : Man, if I have to hear about that damn movie one more time, I'm gonna hand you over to the zombies myself!

FEZ : Shut up, everyone! Have you not noticed where we are?

JACKIE : (deapan) A mall.

KELSO : Nah, Fez is right. We should get back to the Vista Cruiser before the zombies find us.

HYDE : Kelso, for the last time, there's no such things as Martians, vampires, or zombies. "Dawn of the Dead" is all about how the man is keeping us down! It's about how the government has fallen into anarchy! It's--

KELSO : Oh, there are zombies.

HYDE : No, there's not.

KELSO : Yes. There ARE.

Hyde looks ready to start beating up on Kelso, until Fez gets in the way.

FEZ : Stop it, both of you! (beat, a little scared) Let us go home.

Everyone's quiet as they start walking again.

ERIC : Darth Vader could have SO kicked all those zombies' asses.


Night - The Formans' Living Room

Bob is on the couch with Kitty, who looks tired. Red is in his chair still. The T.V. is off.

BOB : So after Midge, Joanne, and Pammy all left me, I finally figured it would be better for me to go somewhere alone.

RED : (under his breath) Too bad you can't go right now.

BOB : What was that?

RED : Uh... just too bad we can't all go.

BOB : Well, see, that was the point of me getting the RV. Figured you two might want to give it a shot too!

KITTY : Oh. Bob. That's just... (laughs) unusual.

RED : Bob, how about you go on home and wait for Donna to get back before I find myself a reason to...

BOB : (stands, holding out a hand to stop Red) Put a foot in my ass? Hoo-boy, allrighty, then. (salutes) Seeya tomorrow, neighbors!

The lights suddenly go out and it's pitch-black.

BOB : Or not.


Night - The Mall

JACKIE : God, I hate being poor! I can't even shop at any of these stores anymore!

The lights suddenly go out and it's pitch-black here, as well.

HYDE : How's about I steal something for you instead?

JACKIE : Aww! You're so sweet, Steven!

There's a beat, then two female yelps.

DONNA & JACKIE : (in unison) Okay, who's touching my butt?

There's another beat.

HYDE, KELSO, ERIC & FEZ : (in unison) Sorry...